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# chuck norris jokes

  • chuck norris has a diary, it is called the guinness book of world records.
  • chuck norris can dribble a bowling ball.
  • chuck norris won an arm wrestling tournament, with both arms tied behind his back.
  • when the boogeyman goes to sleep every night he checks his closet for chuck norris.
  • bigfoot is still hiding because he once saw chuck norris walking in the mountains.
  • when chuck norris plays dodgeball, the balls dodge him.
  • ghosts tell chuck norris stories at the campfire.
  • when chuck norris looked into the abyss, the abyss looked the other way.
  • chuck norris made a happy meal cry.
  • chuck norris beat the sun in a staring contest.
  • chuck norris wrecked his bicycle and skinned the sidewalk with his knee.
  • the dinosaurs looked at chuck norris the wrong way once. you know what happened to them.
  • time waits for no man. unless that man is chuck norris.
  • chuck norris once climbed mt. everest in 15 minutes, 14 of which he was building a snowman at the bottom.
  • chuck norris' calendar goes straight from march 31st to april 2nd. no one fools chuck norris.
  • chuck norris found the last digit of pi.
  • chuck norris has counted to infinity more than once.
  • chuck norris does not sleep. he waits.
  • when chuck norris gives you the finger, he's telling you how many seconds you have left to live.
  • when chuck norris was in middle school, his english teacher assigned an essay: "what is courage?" he received an a+ for turning in a blank page with only his name at the top.
  • voldemort refers to chuck norris as ‘you know who’.