chuck norris has a diary, it is called the guinness book of world records.
chuck norris can dribble a bowling ball.
chuck norris won an arm wrestling tournament, with both arms tied behind his back.
when the boogeyman goes to sleep every night he checks his closet for chuck norris.
bigfoot is still hiding because he once saw chuck norris walking in the mountains.
when chuck norris plays dodgeball, the balls dodge him.
ghosts tell chuck norris stories at the campfire.
when chuck norris looked into the abyss, the abyss looked the other way.
chuck norris made a happy meal cry.
chuck norris beat the sun in a staring contest.
chuck norris wrecked his bicycle and skinned the sidewalk with his knee.
the dinosaurs looked at chuck norris the wrong way once. you know what happened to them.
time waits for no man. unless that man is chuck norris.
chuck norris once climbed mt. everest in 15 minutes, 14 of which he was building a snowman at the bottom.
chuck norris' calendar goes straight from march 31st to april 2nd. no one fools chuck norris.
chuck norris found the last digit of pi.
chuck norris has counted to infinity more than once.
chuck norris does not sleep. he waits.
when chuck norris gives you the finger, he's telling you how many seconds you have left to live.
when chuck norris was in middle school, his english teacher assigned an essay: "what is courage?" he received an a+ for turning in a blank page with only his name at the top.
voldemort refers to chuck norris as ‘you know who’.